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@GossipGirl Recap: Blair’s Royal Wedding
OMG can you believe we’ve hit 100 episodes of Gossip Girl? And what better way to start it than with a musical featuring Blake Lively singing to ‘Diamonds are a Girl’s best friend.’ Who would have thought diamonds were a metaphor for Dan? ” At least we know Dan Humphrey’s (Penn Bagdley) over trying to get Blair. As adorable as it was, it was obviously never going to happen.
What about saving Chuck and Blair? Chuck (Ed Westwick) isn’t such great friends with the evil priest and poisons him in his effort to save Blair’s wedding. But it looks like Georgina Sparks (Michelle Trachtenberg) is saving the day. Nate (Chase Crawford) finally realizes how crappy his choice in women has been after a tiny feud over a catering girl he couldn’t remember.
I’m not exactly feeling Blair’s Vera Wang dress, especially since it’s so tight it’s cutting off her circulation. Serena’s pale pink dress looks like the way better option. If only all Maid of Honors were allowed to look that great. Blair’s mom ends up at Chuck’s place, obviously calling for an intervention. Everyone else sees how wrong this wedding is — “I don’t want my daughter to have to wait for a second chance to be happy. She should be happy the first time around.” You can’t say no to a mother now, can you?
Even after Chuck confronts Blair and tells her to come away with him (again), she’s still stuck on staying apart. Georgina teases this idea by recording this whole conversation where Blair confesses her true feelings and Chuck debates the idea of telling Louis. Even Serena joins the ‘all for Chuck’ team, but Blair decides to hold on to both of her fathers and continue down the aisle.
Who knew Gossip Girl would be the one to break up this picture-perfect moment? After hearing her own words, Blair jumps out of the altar. “Of course I love you, Chuck. I love you more and more every day if it’s even possible to love someone that much.” Georgina successfully calls out all the little issues suspecting Serena, Nate and Dan for sending in the video, all for Blair and Louis to resume their wedding. Will there be another interruption or are we finally sealing the deal?
Apparently Chuck’s made some sort of statement to the rest of the gang. Nate goes for the catering girl and Serena professes her love for Dan (apparently, there was never any competition, she was just being a bitch, as usual). Does anyone care about Louis’ grand gesture? After everything they’ve been together, it looks like she’s married herself into a monster.
Xoxo, @missamandachen
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@GossipGirl Recap: Father And The Bride
Is anyone else totally upset at the lame excuse Blair (Leighton Meester) has for ending her love affair with Chuck Bass (Ed Westwick)? Accidents happen. She barely mourns the loss of her child and yet mourns her willful decision to exclude Chuck from her life? No wonder she has to go to church, no other institution would understand the level of crazy she’s at right now.
Is anyone else totally creeped out by that church dude and his perverted relationship with Beatrice? And I thought Nate’s (Chace Crawford) dates were bad. Now that you mention it, his little secret with Gossip Girl gets out when he shuts down Serena’s (Blake Lively) column, which Serena obviously finds out about and publishes herself. I’m not sure if Gossip Girl’s making a comeback, but at least we get a little closer to solving the mystery on Nate’s arch enemy: his cousin Tripp. Serena and Nate stage a video posted on Gossip Girl to get Tripp to come by and blame his wife only to realize this was all an intervention about their grandfather’s love.
As Nate’s story gets progressively interesting, it looks like there’s no room for Chuck to shine. He’s even more obsessed with Blair (I know, how is that even possible right?) and finding out why she randomly ran out on him when they just professed their undying love for each other. I understand where Blair is coming from about loving someone from afar, but for a protection measure? That’s a little lame. No, that’s a lot lame.
The best part of tonight’s episode is Blair’s bachelorete party at Panchitos in the West Village. She’s actually hit lower than 10th street to film this! So much for the blue Tiffany’s boxes and macarons, Blair gets silly off of frozen margaritas and tequila shots. I’ve never seen her this chilled out in the entire series. She even gets caught smoking a joint outside and mistakes the cops for strippers. I mean, Officier ‘Weiner’? I’m dying. See, surprises like this keep me holding on for better story lines. But we all know that won’t happen. I love the tiara, but it was too bad there weren’t penises on it.
Chuck and the creepy priest guy become BFFs when it comes to sabotaging Blair and Prince Louis’ marriage. But Beatrice looks like she’s turning sides, I mean, did anyone else notice they’re basically wearing the same makeup? Sisters cut from the same cloth! Let the best duo win and we’ll check out what happens next week at the altar. Or what doesn’t happen…
Xoxo, @missamandachen
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@GossipGirl Recap: Riding In Town Cars With Boys
Ready for the Chair-fest? I have to admit, I was super excited to see Chuck (Ed Westwick) finally come to terms with his feelings and run back to Blair (Leighton Meester). But it’s so unfair that he gets his chance only when Prince Louis (Hugo Becker) messes up just once when he’s messed up plenty. On that note, I can’t not love the underdog, lonely boy Dan (Penn Badgley). His Dad had to bring up the fact that he hasn’t dated anyone since the kiss he had with Blair last spring. Is he about to throw himself at her as well? Hey, there’s already two, why not add a third?
Blair runs to Brooklyn to camp out with Dan and at first we think he’s trying to get his moment with her. He helps her write a pro-con list as the paparazzi and Gossip Girl continue to chase the story. Dan steals her away to a mystery place saying, “I think I know how to make you happy.” What happens? He takes her to Charlie (Kaylee DeFer)’s party and gets her alone with Chuck. And we finally get it — they both profess their love for each other and run out with Nate (Chace Crawford).
But somehow they went in the wrong cars and as the paparazzi are aggressively hunting Blair and Chuck’s car for a shot of them together, all of a sudden the car crashes right as Blair’s deciding whether or not she wants to hit Switzerland or Tokyo to raise the baby. What baby? Or should we say, what about Chuck? Either way, it looks like this family is about to fall apart before it could even begin.
PS all the night gowns and suits look absolutely ridiculous in the vastly lit hospital. With no evening light to shield her guilt Charlie/Ivy tells Rufus everything. She tells him she tipped Gossip Girl on Blair and Chuck’s whereabouts hoping the paparazzi would crash the party (as they rightly did) just to save her sorry ass from Max’s evil revenge. “I’m sorry, it’s me. I’m the fraud.” Now this time she better mean it when she says she’s leaving and not coming back, because I seriously feel like she’s the ‘Girl Who Cried Rhodes.’
And it looks like Nate’s story is about to get more interesting. Whatever his family has set is all out of whack when Grandfather calls up Diana (Elizabeth Hurley) to come back to town. Guess there’s only room for one conniving bitch next season.
Xoxo, @missamandachen
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@GossipGirl Recap: Rhodes To Perdition
Oh dear, we have an entire episode dedicated to the Ivy/Charlie (Kaylee DeFer) dilemma. At first, it looks like she’s is getting her way easily enough in convincing CeCe (Caroline Lagerfelt) to lift the limit on her trust fund money within the first three minutes of meeting her. Really? Well, at least ex-boyfriends cause a little more trouble. Max (Brian J. Smith) is determined to get that $500,000, and is using Serena (Blake Lively) as his bait.
This means Serena finally finds out that Ivy and Charlie are one and the same while eavesdropping behind a little Rhodes feud between Carol (Sheila Kelley) and Lily (Kelly Rutherford). She invites Max over and confronts Ivy, demanding an answer. CeCe comes to the rescue by fainting during this whole situation. Everyone stands up for Ivy/Charlie saying it was Carol’s fault and whatever Max says is instantly reprimanded and his over gets blown as the not-so-nice blackmailer. And what’s more? Carol and Ivy get the cash! Looks like this alter ego is done-zo — Charlie’s officially a Rhodes now.
On another note, Blair (Leighton Meester) has this idea that some sort of Freaky Friday scenario just happened between Chuck (Ed Westwick) and Louis. She makes it her top priority to set things right and ‘fix’ Louis so she can continue on with her fairy-tale story. But as she digs deeper, she finds out about Chuck’s too-late proposal and his acceptance for his lost. As a result, she blames herself. “It was me that brought out your dark side. And now that I’m with Louis I’ve done the same to him. I’m sorry.”
Nate (Chace Crawford) is now in charge of the NY Spectator, but it’s significantly less dramatic now that Diana (Elizabeth Hurley) is off the front page. It’s turning into a huge family matter and I’m drowning in the fillers. Same goes with the hate-fest on Dan Humphrey (Penn Bagdley) and his not-so-winning book. Great job in making every other man in town look absolutely terrible so Chuck Bass can look like a saint!
Xoxo, @missamandachen
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@GossipGirl Recap: All The Pretty Sources
Looks like Blair Waldorf (Leighton Meester) is showing by the sight of her baggy dresses throughout this episode. Prince Louis (Hugo Becker) is planting some seedy ideas about her friends being back-stabbers. For the record, he does have a point. He’s stood up to his own mother and sister for the sake of Blair and these Upper East Siders don’t really roll that way. “Your friends don’t know loyalty.”
By the way, Blair’s bridal party is a Tiffany’s party. Every guest receives a pretty blue box, but one lucky lady receives a diamond ring. Of course, the lucky Charlie/Ivy (Kaylee DeFer), who’s been able to sneak into this beautiful lifestyle and even escape being called ‘Ivy’ when her ex-boyfriend appears. What are the chances of that? Well, for a diamond ring and $50,000 to hit up Portland (that would have seemed amazing for some struggling actors living in LA) is now requesting something like $500,000. Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively) is an expensive date.
On another note, Diana (Elizabeth Hurley) might have a heart after all. She takes the blame for the Gossip Girl source list, forcing herself to resign from the NY Spectator. I wonder what’s behind her suddenly good behavior? But Blair finds out it’s really her prince charming Louis that put up the link as a way to expose her friends. Talk about crashing the party. “Do you see what we keep doing here? All the fights and accusations, it isn’t them. It’s us.” As for team Dan and Chuck, they’ve admitted defeat. And what a perfect time to call it quits when Blair decides to go on a ‘break’ with Louis. “Let’s be clear, I told you to get some ass, not make one out of yourself.”
Blair visits Chuck at the end after realizing all the ways he’s tried to help her move along with her fairytale, showing how much he really does love her. I might have to give up on Dan after hearing he’s not ‘a man of action’ (also a man who can’t hold his liquor) and seeing how much deeper Chuck can get. It’s time I switch sides — will Blair do the same?
xoxo, @missamandachen
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@GossipGirl Recap: The Big Sleep No More
After the tearfully sensitive speech Chuck (Ed Westwick) gave to Blair (Leighton Meester) last week, she’s obviously wondering if he’s really changed for the better. “I simply cannot have Chuck ‘chucking’ my mind.” She stalks him, draws venn diagrams on the ‘new’ and ‘old’ Chuck, even follows him to the delightful event featuring Punchdrunk’s provocative theater experience, “Sleep No More,” mask and all.
There’s a really sexy scene when they’re trapped by the bar, alone, and you can just smell the sexual tension between them. I was dying when Chuck just went in for the kill and kissed her and released all that passion. With another slap on the face, Blair runs off. “You are incapable of change. And now, thanks to you, I’m more certain than ever that I chose the right man.” But perhaps Chuck might have done that just to help her stay on the right track, making him a changed man after all.
And what about Nate (Chace Crawford) and his new girlfriend/boss Diana (Elizabeth Hurley)? “It’s just sex and work, it doesn’t change.” Of course he’s thinking he might have a better relationship with a girl like Charlie (Kaylee DeFer), especially after that steamy kiss the other night. Charlie just wants to save her own skin, but jealous can drive some girls to do some crazy things. When the cougar and the cub have their eyes on the prey, you don’t want to get involved.
Charlie is getting really good at playing this Upper East Side back-stabber, but let’s get real. She’s no Blair Waldorf and when the truth comes out, she’s going to burst in tears. I don’t feel sorry for her, do you? Her ex Max (Brian J. Smith) comes to New York for a job interview and bumps into Serena (Blake Lively) and they hit it off. Charlie gets mixed up in Diana’s drama with Nate and we all know who’s going to win in this fight.
Charlie kisses Max thinking he’s Nate and Max kisses Charlie thinking she’s Serena. I’ll never get sick of these classic GG scenarios. After all this, not only does Charlie lose two great men that would have given her everything, she also lost a job. “Let me put you out of your misery. You’re fired.” But one thing’s for sure — Serena’s still (miraculously) in the dark. Of course, since she’s literally the only reason Charlie can still exist on this show.
Xoxo, @missamandachen
