Snow Job

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so im still in love with this dude

and especially with laying in bed for the last few days sick, i want nothing more than that cuddle buddy that person to love. and i still think that person is him. but i am not going to stay around and try go convince someone that i am a great fit for them. i feel like im going back to my cancer roots, my gemininess is not serving me any good purpose so far. so i think i should gravitate back to my other half of myself. who knew you could control your destiny like such. im starting to want that steady job, that steady boyfriend, that kind of a life. i crave it maybe i always have but by never having it, i told myself i didnt want it anyway. we are such great deceivers, particularly to ourselves – women that is. delightful little liars, arent we.


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